-Julian Baggini
I want to make VERY CLEAR that even though this blog refers to the country singer Leann Rimes numerous times, what you’re about to read has absolutely nothing to do with my personal opinion of her. This is NOT about whether she's guilty or innocent of inciting certain behaviors, nor does it have anything to do with her personal life, conduct, talent, or twitter habits. I’m well aware that people will try to make it about that, but that subject has already been addressed, relentlessly, by others. I'm not interested.
Instead, I wanted to talk about the behavior I’ve witnessed on twitter that seems to surround Ms. Rimes. There is an all out, kill-or-be-killed war that’s been brewing for years between Ms. Rimes’ fans and those who...well, aren’t.
Writing this, I tried to be as objective as humanly possible. Some of my twitter followers adore her. Many of my followers hate her. I honestly don’t give a shit either way. I’m cool with anyone interacting with me as long as they’re respectful of my beliefs. If they are, I’m respectful of theirs.
Frankly, I don’t comprehend the depth of these feelings either way about any celebrity, but recently it's erupted into something much bigger than her. When it comes to Ms. Rimes...people seem to have forgotten that NOT EVERYONE MUST LIKE THE SAME THING. And, conversely...NOT EVERYONE MUST HATE THE SAME THING.Last I heard, people have different taste, whether it's music or morality.
I'm the first to admit I'm no twitter angel. I’ve said stupid crap I've deeply regretted, and been drawn into toxic interactions myself, more times than I'm comfortable with. I'm an opinionated gal, and I've often desperately wished I'd been blessed with more grace and tact. All of this combined with the absolutely mortifying choices I’ve made in my past leave me in no position to judge anyone else. Which is why when I've witnessed certain things on twitter that have deeply troubled me, I’ve kept my yap shut."It's none of my business. I don't want the drama."
Until an incident happened last week that made it my business.
Before I get to that, if you’d like to get a small taste of what I’m referring to, and you’re on twitter, search Leann Rimes and see what comes up. I did this recently as I was writing this post, and I was honestly sickened and appalled.
First, I must warn you: there are thousands of shocking tweets full of absolute, insane cruelty, mixed with many fan/positive tweets. Here’s a tiny sampling of the troubling things people have tweeted Ms. Rimes directly, just in the past few days:“Fucking clowncunt” “Everyone hates you” “You fucking suck, why don’t you die?” “You’re lazy & fat hubby is unemployable” “Leann is sick cus she looked in the mirror & realized her life sucks” “Ugly whore” “Horse Face” “your stepsons hate you” “You’re a horrible vile cunt” “Cowardly cunt” “barren, childless Leann” "PigWhore""Liar""Laxanne""You make me sick""You disgusting cunt" and on and on and on.
*Since this blog came out many have decided to stop this behavior. Partially due to the blog itself, but also due to other reasons. So to see what I'm referring to, scroll back a few days.
Regardless, as disturbing as those comments are, being attacked is a sadly a cruel reality of being famous today. (Especially being famous and on social media.) Even though I think the comments above are just awful, I'm sad to say some of my followers engage in this behavior all day long, every day. Despite privately wishing they’d stop already, or at least switch topics occasionally, many are people I truly like, many I feel personally connected to regarding their addictions, after they read GUTS.
But they are far from the only ones at fault here. Just as disturbing are tweets from Ms. Rimes fans towards her haters. From what I can see, both sides are equally guilty. Jobs are constantly threatened, employers called, peoples children are threatened (in one awful case, a man actually wished death upon someone's GRANDCHILDREN, simply because she wasn't a fan. She was utterly devastated.) Accounts are being hacked daily, private information is tweeted, Social Security #’s and home addresses are shared, private photographs are tweeted, accounts are spammed until twitter shuts them down, and on and on and on and on and on.
The bullying is relentless.If someone tweets a compliment to Ms. Rimes, they are immediately attacked for having this opinion. If someone is critical/mean toward her, they are attacked. If Ms. Rimes tweets a celebrity and they tweet back, the celebrity is attacked. There are lists of “the enemy,” a group of “haters” who must be taken down at all costs. There are false accounts made to torment someone JUST BECAUSE THEY LIKE/HATE A COUNTRY SINGER.
This behavior has forced hundreds to close their twitter accounts, and almost all involved are now “private” due to the harassment. Yet it continues.
I got a small taste of it last week. Ms. Rimes had prevented a blogger & a paparazzi (both of whom have expressed very negative opinions of her) from attending her concert. She had them both escorted out by law enforcement. Both women had tweeted about the concert for weeks, purchased tickets well in advance, and both are gals in their 40's or 50's. Hardly what I would consider a threat. Yes, it’s terrible when someone writes mean shit about you. And yes, paparazzi can be extremely invasive. But, in my opinion, what were they gonna do, photograph her to death?
I’ve been a theater actress all my life, so when my twitter suddenly blew up with the information that police escorted them out, I tweeted my instinctive opinion (and one I still stand behind 100%): “I'm sorry, but kicking anyone out of a performance you're in simply because they write mean shit about you is the very height of idiocy.”Immediately after I tweeted “As entertainers, we can’t always chose who our audience is.”
Holy shit. It was like I dropped a fucking bomb on a pre-school. People went apeshit. As you can see, I didn’t name names and it’s 100% my truthful opinion, which I have every right to have. I would have said the same thing regardless of the performer. My opinion on this was formed by my long theater career and the adage "The show must go on." I’ve been absolutely eviscerated by a major NY critic, and a few months later had to perform my next play knowing he was there to judge me again. I've also had certain people attack me and write terrible blogs about me. It honestly wouldn't occur to me to ban them from a play or taping I was in.
Once, this crazy guy tweeted he couldn't wait to "teach me a lesson" when I spoke at a recovery event near him in Texas. For days he threatened me with constant physical harm. He wanted to "karate chop my throat"& "take a shit in my mouth," among thousands of other threats.I simply hired extra security and went about my day.
Ask any performer what they think of this, and I'm certain they'd completely agree with me. As professionals, we perform. I don't believe Madonna or Kathy Griffin or Taylor Swift or Wynonna Judd would refuse entry to someone who's voiced very negative views on them.
My statement was taken as a personal attack on Ms. Rimes (which it truly wasn't) and a wall of rage and fury slammed into me. I won’t repeat what people said, mostly because it was all kind of a blur, but there were hundreds of cruel attacks on my career (or, in their opinion, lack thereof), my talent (or lack thereof), my age (can't help that one), my sobriety, my face, my intelligence, my ego, my weight, and in a few cases, accusations that I was just trying to ride Ms. Rimes coattails (Where to, I have no idea.)
I had to block over 50 people in a 40 minute time frame. I don't really care, I'm a big girl, I can handle some shit thrown my way.
But this is just stupid, you guys. It really is. It’s become insane, and I've seen it start to really harm people. It’s just not okay anymore.
I want to say this to each of you:
You can change. Right now. You can stop engaging in toxicity and hurtful behavior right this second.
If someone wants to chat with their followers about liking/disliking someone, THAT’S THEIR RIGHT. If you don't agree, just block the fuckers and move the fuck on.If someone wants to state an opinion about someone’s behavior, THAT’S THEIR RIGHT. If you don't like it, just block the fucker and move the fuck on.
Starting today, I’ll begin unfollowing or blocking any of those who engage in this behavior, which makes me sad. I really like a bunch of you crazy twatters.
I've also disabled the comments section of this post, not because I don't want your feedback. I do. Sadly, I believe it will become just another forum to trash each other, or Leann Rimes. And frankly, I've read enough of that to last me a lifetime.
I hope you understand the spirit with which this was intended. I just want to go back to having fun on twitter, and this nonsense is soul-crushing. For those who read it, and those who write it.
And THAT, my smartass beyatches, is my kumbaya moment of the week.
Love ya
KJo
Update:
I was truly touched at the amount of incredibly positive reactions this blog received. So many were sick of it themselves, and wanted to move on.
Many said they would really try to change their part in this madness, which I found incredibly brave of them.
A 16 year-old girl I interact with on twitter DM'ed me this reaction: "Oh my God, people are so fucking cruel...It's so high school."
(Yay! Something fun for her to look forward to when she's all growed up!)
Sadly, there were still a small faction of people who missed the point entirely, and instead of receiving the positive message I tried to impart, decided to once again point out to me how wrong I was to have made the statement about Ms. Rimes's decision to have those two ladies escorted out "before I had all the facts."
My belief is, we perform for anyone, unless we're in fear for our physical safety, or the physical safety of others. Not one person has been able to share any information with me that anyone's physical safety was compromised.
I think it's rather interesting that of all the people who've insisted how wrong I was, how "off-base"& "completely uninformed" I was, that "she had every right to do that"...not one of these people actually makes their living as an entertainer. So while I may be considered "z-list" to some of them, the truth is, I've performed in almost 75 plays in NYC for the last 3 decades. I've shot hundreds of episodes of sitcoms in front of live audiences. I've spoken at countless benefits and in front of thousands of people regarding addiction and other issues.
It's what I do. It's my job.
Which means that I'm actually completely qualified to voice an opinion regarding this matter.
And to prove my point, I'd like to extend an invitation to those who've ever written cruel comments or blogs to/about me: ANY of you would be welcome to come to a taping of 'The Exes' when we start back up in January. I'm serious.
Finally, I wanted to thank you guys who opened your hearts & minds. I don't expect it to change overnight. A good rule of thumb (for me too!) is to remember that what we tweet says more about us than anyone else.
Thanks for reading.I'll see you soon!
Love
KJo
Writing this, I tried to be as objective as humanly possible. Some of my twitter followers adore her. Many of my followers hate her. I honestly don’t give a shit either way. I’m cool with anyone interacting with me as long as they’re respectful of my beliefs. If they are, I’m respectful of theirs.
Frankly, I don’t comprehend the depth of these feelings either way about any celebrity, but recently it's erupted into something much bigger than her. When it comes to Ms. Rimes...people seem to have forgotten that NOT EVERYONE MUST LIKE THE SAME THING. And, conversely...NOT EVERYONE MUST HATE THE SAME THING.
Last I heard, people have different taste, whether it's music or morality.
I'm the first to admit I'm no twitter angel. I’ve said stupid crap I've deeply regretted, and been drawn into toxic interactions myself, more times than I'm comfortable with. I'm an opinionated gal, and I've often desperately wished I'd been blessed with more grace and tact. All of this combined with the absolutely mortifying choices I’ve made in my past leave me in no position to judge anyone else. Which is why when I've witnessed certain things on twitter that have deeply troubled me, I’ve kept my yap shut."It's none of my business. I don't want the drama."
I'm the first to admit I'm no twitter angel. I’ve said stupid crap I've deeply regretted, and been drawn into toxic interactions myself, more times than I'm comfortable with. I'm an opinionated gal, and I've often desperately wished I'd been blessed with more grace and tact. All of this combined with the absolutely mortifying choices I’ve made in my past leave me in no position to judge anyone else. Which is why when I've witnessed certain things on twitter that have deeply troubled me, I’ve kept my yap shut."It's none of my business. I don't want the drama."
Until an incident happened last week that made it my business.
Before I get to that, if you’d like to get a small taste of what I’m referring to, and you’re on twitter, search Leann Rimes and see what comes up. I did this recently as I was writing this post, and I was honestly sickened and appalled.
First, I must warn you: there are thousands of shocking tweets full of absolute, insane cruelty, mixed with many fan/positive tweets. Here’s a tiny sampling of the troubling things people have tweeted Ms. Rimes directly, just in the past few days:
“Fucking clowncunt” “Everyone hates you” “You fucking suck, why don’t you die?” “You’re lazy & fat hubby is unemployable” “Leann is sick cus she looked in the mirror & realized her life sucks” “Ugly whore” “Horse Face” “your stepsons hate you” “You’re a horrible vile cunt” “Cowardly cunt” “barren, childless Leann” "PigWhore""Liar""Laxanne""You make me sick""You disgusting cunt" and on and on and on.
*Since this blog came out many have decided to stop this behavior. Partially due to the blog itself, but also due to other reasons. So to see what I'm referring to, scroll back a few days.
*Since this blog came out many have decided to stop this behavior. Partially due to the blog itself, but also due to other reasons. So to see what I'm referring to, scroll back a few days.
Regardless, as disturbing as those comments are, being attacked is a sadly a cruel reality of being famous today. (Especially being famous and on social media.) Even though I think the comments above are just awful, I'm sad to say some of my followers engage in this behavior all day long, every day. Despite privately wishing they’d stop already, or at least switch topics occasionally, many are people I truly like, many I feel personally connected to regarding their addictions, after they read GUTS.
But they are far from the only ones at fault here. Just as disturbing are tweets from Ms. Rimes fans towards her haters. From what I can see, both sides are equally guilty. Jobs are constantly threatened, employers called, peoples children are threatened (in one awful case, a man actually wished death upon someone's GRANDCHILDREN, simply because she wasn't a fan. She was utterly devastated.) Accounts are being hacked daily, private information is tweeted, Social Security #’s and home addresses are shared, private photographs are tweeted, accounts are spammed until twitter shuts them down, and on and on and on and on and on.
The bullying is relentless.
The bullying is relentless.
If someone tweets a compliment to Ms. Rimes, they are immediately attacked for having this opinion. If someone is critical/mean toward her, they are attacked. If Ms. Rimes tweets a celebrity and they tweet back, the celebrity is attacked. There are lists of “the enemy,” a group of “haters” who must be taken down at all costs. There are false accounts made to torment someone JUST BECAUSE THEY LIKE/HATE A COUNTRY SINGER.
This behavior has forced hundreds to close their twitter accounts, and almost all involved are now “private” due to the harassment. Yet it continues.
I got a small taste of it last week. Ms. Rimes had prevented a blogger & a paparazzi (both of whom have expressed very negative opinions of her) from attending her concert. She had them both escorted out by law enforcement. Both women had tweeted about the concert for weeks, purchased tickets well in advance, and both are gals in their 40's or 50's. Hardly what I would consider a threat. Yes, it’s terrible when someone writes mean shit about you. And yes, paparazzi can be extremely invasive. But, in my opinion, what were they gonna do, photograph her to death?
I’ve been a theater actress all my life, so when my twitter suddenly blew up with the information that police escorted them out, I tweeted my instinctive opinion (and one I still stand behind 100%): “I'm sorry, but kicking anyone out of a performance you're in simply because they write mean shit about you is the very height of idiocy.”
Immediately after I tweeted “As entertainers, we can’t always chose who our audience is.”
Holy shit. It was like I dropped a fucking bomb on a pre-school. People went apeshit. As you can see, I didn’t name names and it’s 100% my truthful opinion, which I have every right to have. I would have said the same thing regardless of the performer. My opinion on this was formed by my long theater career and the adage "The show must go on." I’ve been absolutely eviscerated by a major NY critic, and a few months later had to perform my next play knowing he was there to judge me again. I've also had certain people attack me and write terrible blogs about me. It honestly wouldn't occur to me to ban them from a play or taping I was in.
Once, this crazy guy tweeted he couldn't wait to "teach me a lesson" when I spoke at a recovery event near him in Texas. For days he threatened me with constant physical harm. He wanted to "karate chop my throat"& "take a shit in my mouth," among thousands of other threats.
I simply hired extra security and went about my day.
Ask any performer what they think of this, and I'm certain they'd completely agree with me. As professionals, we perform. I don't believe Madonna or Kathy Griffin or Taylor Swift or Wynonna Judd would refuse entry to someone who's voiced very negative views on them.
Ask any performer what they think of this, and I'm certain they'd completely agree with me. As professionals, we perform. I don't believe Madonna or Kathy Griffin or Taylor Swift or Wynonna Judd would refuse entry to someone who's voiced very negative views on them.
My statement was taken as a personal attack on Ms. Rimes (which it truly wasn't) and a wall of rage and fury slammed into me. I won’t repeat what people said, mostly because it was all kind of a blur, but there were hundreds of cruel attacks on my career (or, in their opinion, lack thereof), my talent (or lack thereof), my age (can't help that one), my sobriety, my face, my intelligence, my ego, my weight, and in a few cases, accusations that I was just trying to ride Ms. Rimes coattails (Where to, I have no idea.)
I had to block over 50 people in a 40 minute time frame. I don't really care, I'm a big girl, I can handle some shit thrown my way.
But this is just stupid, you guys. It really is.
It’s become insane, and I've seen it start to really harm people.
It’s just not okay anymore.
I want to say this to each of you:
You can change. Right now. You can stop engaging in toxicity and hurtful behavior right this second.
You can change. Right now. You can stop engaging in toxicity and hurtful behavior right this second.
If someone wants to chat with their followers about liking/disliking someone, THAT’S THEIR RIGHT. If you don't agree, just block the fuckers and move the fuck on.
If someone wants to state an opinion about someone’s behavior, THAT’S THEIR RIGHT. If you don't like it, just block the fucker and move the fuck on.
Starting today, I’ll begin unfollowing or blocking any of those who engage in this behavior, which makes me sad. I really like a bunch of you crazy twatters.
I've also disabled the comments section of this post, not because I don't want your feedback. I do. Sadly, I believe it will become just another forum to trash each other, or Leann Rimes.
And frankly, I've read enough of that to last me a lifetime.
I hope you understand the spirit with which this was intended. I just want to go back to having fun on twitter, and this nonsense is soul-crushing. For those who read it, and those who write it.
And THAT, my smartass beyatches, is my kumbaya moment of the week.
Love ya
KJo
Update:
I was truly touched at the amount of incredibly positive reactions this blog received. So many were sick of it themselves, and wanted to move on.
Many said they would really try to change their part in this madness, which I found incredibly brave of them.
A 16 year-old girl I interact with on twitter DM'ed me this reaction: "Oh my God, people are so fucking cruel...It's so high school."
(Yay! Something fun for her to look forward to when she's all growed up!)
Sadly, there were still a small faction of people who missed the point entirely, and instead of receiving the positive message I tried to impart, decided to once again point out to me how wrong I was to have made the statement about Ms. Rimes's decision to have those two ladies escorted out "before I had all the facts."
Update:
I was truly touched at the amount of incredibly positive reactions this blog received. So many were sick of it themselves, and wanted to move on.
Many said they would really try to change their part in this madness, which I found incredibly brave of them.
A 16 year-old girl I interact with on twitter DM'ed me this reaction: "Oh my God, people are so fucking cruel...It's so high school."
(Yay! Something fun for her to look forward to when she's all growed up!)
Sadly, there were still a small faction of people who missed the point entirely, and instead of receiving the positive message I tried to impart, decided to once again point out to me how wrong I was to have made the statement about Ms. Rimes's decision to have those two ladies escorted out "before I had all the facts."
My belief is, we perform for anyone, unless we're in fear for our physical safety, or the physical safety of others. Not one person has been able to share any information with me that anyone's physical safety was compromised.
It's what I do. It's my job.
Which means that I'm actually completely qualified to voice an opinion regarding this matter.
And to prove my point, I'd like to extend an invitation to those who've ever written cruel comments or blogs to/about me: ANY of you would be welcome to come to a taping of 'The Exes' when we start back up in January. I'm serious.
Finally, I wanted to thank you guys who opened your hearts & minds. I don't expect it to change overnight. A good rule of thumb (for me too!) is to remember that what we tweet says more about us than anyone else.
Thanks for reading.
I'll see you soon!
Love
KJo
Love
KJo