You know those people?
The ones who don't bother to ask before forcing you to endure endless photos
of their children, their pets or, God forbid, a 20-minute film of their Anniversary cruise?
The people my sister and I have always snickered about behind their backs?
Well, ha ha ha. The jokes on me.
I've now become one of them.
"Hello. My name is Kristen and I'm hopelessly addicted to showing people photos of my dog. Wanna see?"
I'm not sure when it all began, but I blame my parents.
It didn't get really bad until I got my beloved dog Pinky.
I began tweeting pics & updates about her on twitter or here, until her death in November.
However, it was only when my English Bulldog puppy Prudence entered the picture that all pretenses of sanity left me.
Now co-workers, dry cleaner employees, gas station attendants, and even the rude gentleman at the 7-11 down the street are all constantly subjected to a barrage of pictures of my dog.
Not only that, but God help me, for the 1st time in my entire life, I've even caught myself doing baby talk to her.
Since I do have a modicum of sanity left, I'll warn you that this post is only for those who are either so bored they'll read anything, or for that tiny percentage of you who just can't get enough of hearing about & seeing photos of other people's pets.
Please know if you are sane and/or have a life and/or couldn't be less interested,
my respect for you knows no bounds.
See ya for the next one.
However, I'm not gonna lie, you yummy animal nutters are still my faves.
Therefore, without further ado,
I present to you
Prudence
Okay, so for starters, she sleeps with her tongue out.
Every single time.
No exceptions.
Every single time.
No exceptions.
Actually, come to think of it.... the tongue is out A LOT
And if it aint her tongue,
it's her teeth
Seriously, how fucking dare she be so cute?
(She's wearing a collar made by my friend Lisa, who makes specialty dog collars.
I wanted a "black tie" look for special occasions. She'll create anything you want! Check out pepperjanedesigns.)
The following are a few samples of her "My life is just HELL" look,
which she thinks will get her attention/food/toys
(Yes, it works, dammit)
The next is so cool....Pru and Pinky, together
(the Pinky painting was done by my dear friend @FagsyMalone. If you haven't yet, do take a gander at his hilarious, smart, charming, thoughtful & brutally honest blog FagsyMalone)
Next to eating either food or my flip flops or my sneakers, along with sleeping and shitting,
Prudence's very favorite thing is to ride in the car.
She spazzes out, running circles around the car, tongue of course out, so excited....
but once we leave the driveway,
she's cool as a cucumber
Sometimes way cool
She's perfected the "one-tooth pout."
Drives the fellas walking by bonkers.
Sometimes she acts out this whole drama,
acting like that instead of chatting on the phone or walking down the hall...
what I really want is her toy.
(I don't)
acting like that instead of chatting on the phone or walking down the hall...
what I really want is her toy.
(I don't)
Damn her & her damn tongue is all I can say
I guess I should stop before I really embarrass myself.
Besides, someone needs their diaper changed.
For more on Prudence's background & how I found her, click here.
But if you're too lazy to click on a link (Yay me too!), she wears diapers because she's incontinent due to Spina Bifida, not because they're cute or whatever.
I mean, for God's sake I do have some pride left.
There will never be another Pinky, but I gotta say, Prudence makes me laugh every single day.
Thanks for letting me share my dogs with you guys.
Love you
KJo